World’s Biggest Cherry-Picker

So, for the latest health challenge at work, I tried lifting weights. After the third time in the weight room, my body parts told me I should start looking for something less painful. Now, not all body parts are trustworthy decision-makers, believe you me; but triceps know their stuff . . . they are the next best things to having eyes in the back of your head.

Luckily, today, there was a game of hoops and they needed another guy. (Pick me!) It’s not my regular MWF group, these are Tues./Thurs. guys. They play games to 11 points, counting regular shots as one point and three-point shots as two. This works for me as I love to shot outside and those shots are worth more in this style of game.

We got beat down pretty hard in one game, I think it ended 11–1. So we rallied in the next one, played some defense, got rebounds, and our shots started falling in. We were ahead 9-8 and could win it with a three (two). I was getting pretty tired (these guys are quite a bit younger) so I thought “hero or goat” and launched a shot well outside the NBA arc. It swished, the game was over, and we lined up at the drinking fountain. Truthfully? I was just too tired to work the ball inside so I threw it up there and hoped for the best.

Winners stay on for the next game but I should have known better and subbed out. I was lagging and let my team go down and defend four guys on five. Luckily our guy got the rebound off a missed shot, hurled it downcourt to me, and I got an easy lay-in. I joked about being “the world’s biggest cherry-picker” and how the fruit was definitely in season. A couple of minutes later, the same thing happened, almost an exact replay. One guy on the other team cried foul, saying, “I don’t think we should count that point.” “Really?!” I said, “I didn’t hear any complaints when you had a number advantage on the other end.”

He continued to fume and his team seriously considered the legality of a player not running down to play defense and then getting easy layups. After letting them know I was not, at any time, in the key for three seconds, I decided to sub out and let a younger player finish up the game (which I’m sure my team won).

I hit the showers where the whole situation struck me as truly funny and I began to laugh out loud. I had never been faced with anyone who wanted to win so badly that he was willing to discount points made by a cherry-picker. I began to think of different scenarios where you could try to trim points. Anybody up for “He didn’t say ‘bank!’” This was not a game of horse. Count the basket, baby.